WEEK 6 RECAPS - PART 2 — Protector Of The League

You Done Messed Up A A Ron!: 3-3

Complaint 1: If I were Frader for the day the first thing I would complain about is Jordan Howard. Frader’s 3rd round pick was the 15th RB off the board on draft day, but is currently the #31 RB in our scoring. Over the last three weeks he’s combined for 12.4 points, which ain't gonna cut it. Sure there was a bye in there, but semantics. On the season Howard has 15 or fewer carries in 4 of 5 games and is on pace to exceed 15 carries only 3 times this year. Last year, Howard exceeded 15 carries in 11 of 16 games. Howard isn’t even the highest scoring RB on his own team – that would be Tarik Cohen at RB18.

Complaint 2: I have them in another league so this complaint is coming from both John and Jon – the Jaguars Defense STINKS! Last year they were ’85 Bears dominant and pretty much everyone who owned them made the playoffs or won their league (#Keetz). They scored 8 touchdowns, put up more than 12 points per week and finished as the #1 D. This year they have 1 touchdown, are averaging half of their 2017 points (5.7 per week) and are the #18 D. They just let up 40 points to the COWBOYS. What the damn hell?!

Complaint 3: Non-football related, but if I were Frader I’d probably complain about how many trips I’ve had to make to the east coast for weddings this year. He’s come to mine, Tieg’s and DMO’s in the last 4 months alone and from what he’s told me there have been at least 3 others. While I’m sure he’s had fun at the weddings and the bride/groom appreciate him coming, that’s gotta be tiring. Sure you could say that’s what you get for moving so far away from your friends and family, but this is Frader complaining, not me.

skErtz skErtz w Mahomiez: 3-3

Complaint 1: The low hanging fruit to complain about is Leonard Fournette. His balky hamstring has caused him to miss 4 full games and parts of the other 2. At this time last year, Fournette had 600 rushing yards, 6 TDs and 157 fantasy points. He currently has 71 rushing yards, 0 TDs and 15 fantasy points. The 15 points has him at RB74. Sweeeettt.

Complaint 2: Speaking of injuries, Dylan’s allowed to complain about Cooper Kupp. The Rams slot receiver got taken down on a cheap hit last week and scored 1.4 points against the Broncos. It was a horse-collar tackle, out of bounds and it was dirty. It will likely cost Kupp a game or two as he reportedly sprained his MCL.

Complaint 3: We’ll stick with injuries here and look at another WR – TY Hilton. Despite his slight frame, Hilton has been an iron man during his career. From 2012 through 2017 he played in 94 of a possible 96 games over 6 seasons. Only missed two games, which equals the number of games he’s already missed this year. It looks like he’ll be back this week and that can’t come soon enough - Dyl has lost both of the games he sat out.

SLAMMY TWATSKiNS: 3-3

Complaint 1: Some of these are just writing themselves. Lamone obviously has to complain about Jerick McKinnon – RB San Francisco Fraders. We drafted on Friday, August 31st at about 8 PM. Lamone took McKinnon with his 3rd round pick. The very next day, McKinnon tore his ACL. Unbelievable.

Complaint 2: Speaking of 49ers RBs, I would complain a lot about the Alfred Morris trade him and I just made. Lamone has had Aaron Jones stashed on his bench for the entire season and I picked up Alfred Morris a few weeks ago. I’ve been trying to make a straight up trade for 2+ weeks so that Lamone could lock down the 49ers backfield and I could take a chance on Jones’ upside (someone has to because the Packers won’t).

Breida got hurt two weeks ago and the initial reports were that he tore his ACL (non-contact knee injury means ACL 99% of the time so I don’t know how he escaped that). He came back, but was officially an injury risk. Morris’ value climbed. Then in Week 5, Breida hurt his ankle and Morris took over the backfield (21 touches 90 yards). Breida was all but ruled out for Week 6. Morris’ value climbed. Every pundit (re: pundIDIOT) was saying Morris was a must add and would get a ton of work. As late as Friday, Breida was dubbed as doubtful to play. Morris’ value continued to climb.

Lamone finally agreed to the trade and the rest is history. Alfred Morris didn’t get credited with a single damn carry on Monday night football and Lamone basically gave up Aaron Jones for free. Complaining isn’t even a strong enough word.

Complaint 3: I’d be complaining about Keenan Allen if I were Lamone because Allen has been dangerously close to a bust this year. Allen was the 18th player taken in our draft and the 6th receiver off the board. He’s currently WR25 in our scoring. Lamone’s #1 WR hasn’t eclipsed the 100 yard marker since Week 1 of the season and has 4 games with 67 or fewer yards. While he’s averaging a somewhat respectable 12 points per week, if you take out his week 1 performance, that number nearly drops below 10 points per week. He hasn’t been horrible, but we’re talking about the #3 WR from a year ago.

Dalvin CooKens African Rhino: 0-6

Complaint 1: Everything. I would complain about everything if I were Rob D. If I had to be specific, I’d start with his first three picks – Odell Beckham, DalvinCooKensAfricanRhino and LeSean McCoy. Odell has been underwhelming and is WR12 despite being the 3rd WR taken. Eli stinks, the Giants stink and his outlook is bleak. Cook on the other hand has just been injured. He’s been inactive for 3 games and missed half of another. He’s RB60 this year with grand total of 30 fantasy points in 6 weeks. Last but not least – Tieg’s favorite player. McCoy was a bust candidate coming in and boy has he busted – RB41 at press time averaging 8.6 fantasy points per game.

Complaint 2: Speaking of Tieg, ohhhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyy here we go. Robby D was 0-4 going into his Week 5 matchup with Tieg and in my opinion, that’s a must win. You can come back from 0-4, but in this league, 0-5 is a death sentence. Bob had a league low points scored, but his team put up close to 130 in Week 4 and I’m sure he thought some luck was headed his way. WRONGGGGG. Tieg beat Robby D by POINT ONE FUCKING POINT. Zero Point One Point - .1. The score was 124.9-124.8…. are you kidding me?

“A quarter of an inch this way and it would have gone in. A quarter of an inch, Charlie!”

“Yeah, but a quarter of an inch the other way and you woulda missed completely..”

“Fuck you Charlie Conway.”

I’m not even going to get into a third Complaint because I want to get into this more.

.1 points

Just for a refresher on our scoring - 1 yard is .1 point in our league. One carry is .2 points. A completion by a QB is .25 points. A catch is .5. Don’t even get me started on kicker or defense.

There were 14 position players, 2 kickers and 2 defenses. Robby D lost by .1 point. I take back what I said in Tieg’s complaints, he really is the luckiest bastard in our league. Here are a few final notes to really nail it home.

Phillip Rivers has -2 rushing yards, or -.2 points.

Golden Tate scored 6.7 points when he averages 16.5 per game – lowest output of the season.

Jordan Reed scored 2.6 points when he averages 7.3 per game – lowest output of the season.

The Patriots scored 38 points and Gostkowski only had 1 FG attempt.

That’s all I have to say about that.

WEEK 6 INTERVIEW, PEABODY:

On a brighter note, we were able to track down Ken Peabody for this week’s interview. We’ll talk about the wedding, married life and of course – fantasy football.

1. Hey Ken how’s married life treating you?

Life is same as before really. No wedding planning (although I was pretty hands off), I get my weekends back, and I wear a silicone wedding ring since real jewelry bothers me. So besides that life is great and sawyer still comes home to me at night.

2. Give us some highlights from the honeymoon…..

First off...me being in Africa is probably not a great idea considering my insensitive nature. However, I managed not to offend anyone since I didn’t parade around in an American flag. Like Frader...Tanzanians hate Trump. So the biggest victory was that I avoided being killed by a human.

Part of the trip was a cultural experience so we visited schools, local villages, and indigenous tribes. Eye opening to say the least and glad I did it.

The Safari was unbelievable. Ironically, I didn’t see a Rhino up close and personal. Probably had to do with what I will not document here on this website...

The Serengeti is a serene place. Camping out where you there’s no hint of civilization was something you all need to do. I really can’t do it justice with a quick couple paragraphs but I’ll try to create a slideshow over the Lion King soundtrack and send out a link. Took over 2,000 pics while there. Here are me and my friends

3. Alright now to fantasy football. How many leagues are you in and how are they going?

2 leagues. Crushing this one and have one with NH guys. 2-4 in that one...The NH one bothers me cause it’s 12 person with HUGE benches. Thanks for giving me a platform to bitch. Love this league and the waiver activity. Commish is also great...you da real MVP

Commissioner’s Note: Thanks Ken, I like our scoring/format too. Sometimes the roster limits can be restrictive, but it’s for the good of the game. Big benches = bad teams.

4. As for our league – you currently hold sole possession of 2nd place. Care to give us some thoughts on your team?

WRs are my bread and butter. As long as they stay healthy I should have a shot at the title. Can’t see any drop off in production from these guys without an injury. Julio needs to get in the endzone though.

5. As I’ve mentioned many a time, Adam Thielen is the best WR in the NFL. Do you agree?

He’s got heart and runs a great route. Although he’s an athlete, he just doesn’t have the natural ability like an AB, OBJ, or Julio. But maybe not being a diva like those guys pays off? Love his story and he’s a solid WR on my team (even though I benched him one week and got burneddddd)

6. In all honesty, how much of your team did you draft and how much was drafted by the guys you enlisted to help?

7. I asked Robby D and you were his answer, so figured I’d ask you as well. With all the league weddings – Commish, Ken, Tieg, Lamone next year, etc – who do you think will be the first to join Rob D in the Father’s club?

Having a little Ken is definitely in the near future...we’ll see where exactly that falls out in the race to conception. I could see you popping one out first...but definitely a girl. Gabriella Cannellos has a ring to it

Commissioner’s Note: Probably, the Commish can’t have nice things.

8. Any final words for the league?

This is where everyone usually thanks you for your hard work but I called you the real mvp above.

Sad to think we may be past the days of a complete league gathering. Your wedding may have been the proper finale.

With that being said I would like a 2019 live draft. Let’s make it happen! We could probably get a huge palace in Colorado and it would be agreeable to the left coasters.