Week 9 Recaps Part 2 — Protector Of The League

ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE OFFICE OF THE COMMISSIONER:

In light of last night's events, a motion has been filed to change the league name to "The Donald Trump U League". I'm not sure I want to change the trophy though - motion denied. The one thing that's not up for debate is "The Donald" award that Lamone thought of. Whoever wins the regular season and enters the playoffs as the first seed is awarded The Donald. You get some money out of it (I forget if it was 100 or 50) and I'll see what I can do about a trophy or something.

Speaking of The Donald. I am so thrilled that he won. Watching all of the liberal babies cry and whine has been awesome.

Give me all of those tears. Even though I don't love the Donald and I'm nervous about him being president, all that matters is the Hilldog lost. The democratic party is the embodiment of the millienial generation. Spoiled, whiney, outraged, etc. Now that all of their BS has been shoved up their asses, it's been amazing to see them double down. I'll stop now and leave you with this.

Okay, I'm done now. Back to the point - Timing. Let's take a look at some more anomalies from each team.

Can I Diggs It? Yes You Can (2-7):

Jason Witten:

Even though Frader lost this last game, I cannot believe the timing on starting Jason Witten. It was impeccable. Frader had Gronk on a bye, so he started Witten out of desperation. Tight ends are a wasteland in fantasy football, so he took a total shot in the dark. I don’t know if Witten had been started by anyone else through 8 weeks in this league. If he was, I missed it.

Witten proceeded to have the best game of his season, if not the best game he’s had in the last 3 years. He caught 8 passes for a season high 134 yards and scored his second TD of the year. The 25.4 points he got was nearly FOUR times his weekly average of 7.15. Talk about impeccable timing.

FLEX PLAY:

The timing was right for a Stefon Diggs start. Diggs was coming off an 18 point performance in week 8. Norv Turner had quit and it was clear Diggs was now a focus of the offense. Frader even named his team after Diggs, so you figure he’d start him in week 9. Instead, he started Jerick McKinnon in his flex. Jerick Mckinnon, who was coming off an injury. Jerick Mckinnon who was playing against the surprisingly good Lions rush defense. (I think they’ve only allowed 4 rushing touchdowns all year.) Jerick McKinnon who hasn't done a thing this year.

So what happened? Diggs scored 17.9 points (13 catches!) while Jerick McKinnon scored just 2.2. If you ain’t a 10 you’re a 2.2, Tabitha tastes like the bottom of my shoe. – Lamone and Dyl, please tell me you remember that.

Starting McKinnon this past week was not just bad timing in terms of the matchup, it was bad management. For shame.

Kens 20 Min Backroad Brisket (7-2):

Robert Kelley:

It was the 15th round of our draft and people had started to fade. Out of 10 people, I think at least 4 didn’t make their final picks. One of those people was Rob D, who was content to let his last pick auto draft. Rather than waiting the 90 seconds, I decided to draft for him. With the 143rd pick in our draft, I selected the unknown Robert Kelley. I figured Rob D could use the handcuff to his #1 running back (Matt Jones). As the Commish, I try to help everyone out. Well, Bob did not see it that way. I remember him looking at me like I had 3 heads and asking me who the hell Robert Kelley was.

Guess what? Two months later Robert Kelley is the starting running back for the Washington Redskins. In his last game he had 21 carries and scored 18.9 points. In hindsight, that was a great draft pick.

Jay Ajayi:

Robby D’s year has been a huge success as evidence by his 7-2 record. He’s clinched the playoffs and looks like he’s headed for a first round bye. Having said all of that, I have to mention this one thing. On Friday October 14th, 2016, Rob D dropped Jay Ajayi to waivers. He picked up Justin Forsett in the process.

Ajayi had just scored his first TD of the year, so the timing was a bit curious. Still, the Dolphins were the worst team in the NFL at that time. Well, two days later, they were no longer the worst team in the NFL. Two days later on October 16th, 2016, Jay Ajayi rushed for 204 yards and 2 TDs against the Steelers. A whopping total of 44.2 points. Ajayi went on to rush for 200 yards again the following week. Ridiculously bad timing.

FLACCOPiAN TUBES (5-3):

DeAndre, oh DeAndre:

What a difference a year makes. Last year, DeAndre Hopkins was the #5 WR in all of fantasy. He led the entire NFL in targets and as a fourth round pick, he was a great value pick (humble brag for the Commish). He scored 11 touchdowns and and recorded over 1,500 yards receiving. One more stat - he had 100 yard receiving games from three different quarterbacks. Not one, not two, but three quarterbacks.

Overall he was a stud and came into 2016 as a surefire top 15 pick. The Texans had upgraded at QB, picked up an RB to balance the offense and drafted some WRs to take coverage away. How did that go? Unlike Larry David, it’s gone pretttaayyyy, pretttaaayyy, prettaayyy bad. DeAndre Hopkins is the 38th ranked WR and only has 3 TDs through 8 games. His bye week was last week and I’m pretty sure Lamone was relieved he didn’t have to start him. DeAndre, oh DeAndre.

Starvin Marvin:

The last example shows the difference a year can make, but this one shows the difference a couple weeks can make. Marvin Jones was a trendy sleeper pick this offseason. Lamone had unlimited time to research for the draft, so he knew that. Lamone somehow got him in the 10th round and for a few weeks, it looked like highway robbery.

Through the first 4 games, Marvin Jones scored 78.7 fantasy points. He was averaging nearly 6 catches a game and was actually leading the NFL in receiving yards at the quarter mark. Since week 4 though, he’s been a bum. His catch totals in the last five games have been 4, 2, 4, 3 and 1. He had one game with 94 receiving yards (of course when I played Lamone), but his other yardage totals were 37, 10, 33 and 5. He had just cinco yards this last game. Cinco. Overall he’s scored just 37.4 points since week 4. Starvin Marvin indeed.

Marty Huggins (4-5):

Weekly Game:

I’ve said this in write-ups before, but fantasy football is a weekly game. It all comes down to who you play in a given week. Yes, I ripped that off from other analysts, but it’s true. Anyway, Guy was a victim of this in Week 9, when he played Lamone. Marty Huggins only scored 82, but let’s rewind to week 8.

In week 8, Guy scored 104.4. In week 8, Lamone scored 102.9. If they had matched their week 8 totals, guy would have won this week and lamone would have lost. Guy would be over .500 and tied with Lamone at 5-4. One week difference totally changed the landscape in the standings. This was a bad one, but I’m losing steam.

Same old Same Old:

It’s no secret that Guy loves to draft the same guys he’s had on past teams. He trusts the results. That’s evidenced heavily this year, more so than any other year. On his current roster, there are three guys that he owned on his championship team from last year.

Doug Baldwin was huge in 2015. He scored 14 touchdowns and ended as the 9th highest scoring WR. As a 7th round pick this year, he has just two touchdowns. Gary Barnidge was also a key piece of Guy's team last year. The undrafted free agent scored 9 touchdowns and finished as the third highest scoring tight end. That’s crazy. What’s even more crazy is that Guy took him in the 6th round this year. Through 9 weeks, Barnidge is the 14th ranked TE and has not scored one touchdown so far. Last but not least, Odell Beckham. Last year Odell was the #4 WR. He missed a few games due to suspension, otherwise he would have been closer to #1. This year, the first overall pick has been good but not great. He has only topped the 20 point mark once and has 3 games under 10 points. He is the #8 WR, but as the #1 overall pick you’re expecting more.

(Editor’s Note: I can’t wait til all three of these guys EXPLODE this week against me. I love when I jinx the shit outta myself writing these).