Week 9 Recaps - Part 3
Dylan’s Team, I can’t keep up with all the names (4-5):
Adrian Peterson:
Dylan was one of many unfortunate souls to take Adrian Peterson in the first round of their drafts. I mean, it seemed like a good idea at the time. The Vikings were an up and coming team and Teddie Bridgewater was ready to break out. Their defense was primed to be a top unit and AP was coming off of a huge year. In 2015, he finished as the 2nd highest scoring running back. He nearly rushed for 1,500 yards and he scored 11 touchdowns. It seemed like a slam dunk.
Well, it wasn’t. He totally fucked Dylan and everyone else who drafted him. Teddie Bridgewater got hurt, which allowed defenses to stack the box. As a result, he did nothing in week 1 and 2. He then got injured, going down for the year with an MCL injury. The worst part is, you couldn’t even pick up his handcuff. Both McKinnon and Asiata suck. Ultimately, Dylan lost his first round pick and got nothing to show for it. I’m sure AP will have a big year next year, but I won’t be drafting him. NO NO NO
Week to Week:
In week 8, Dylan was on top of the world. He scored 137.3 points in a blowout win over Ken. In week 9, he was at rock bottom. He put up just 102 in a loss to Robby D. A loss that put him at 4-5 for the year. If the timing was right however, he could be 5-4 instead of 4-5.
If Dylan simply swapped his Week 8 score with his week 9 score, he could be 5-4. His week 8 score was enough to beat Robby D’s week 8 score and it was enough to beat Robby D’s week 9 score as well. You’d have to go back to week 6 to find a point where Robby D would have beaten Dylan’s 137 point total from week 8. You could do this all day.
Broke Back Caleb (4-5):
Inconsistency:
Doug Martin has been an enigma as a pro. The 5th year back out of Boise State has been so up and down. One year he’s good, the next year he sucks. One year he leads the NFL in rushing, the next year he plays in two games. The best thing to have in fantasy football is consistency and Doug Martin does not provide that. It’s actually infuriating.
Let’s look at the actual stats. During his rookie year, Martin rushed for 1,400 yards. He followed that up with a sophomore slump – 450 yards in just 6 games. So you’d think he’d be good in year three, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. He nearly matched his year 2 production with 494 yards, but this time it was through 11 games. So we’ve given up on Doug Martin, we won’t draft him. So what does he do? He leads the league in rushing during his 4th year. Then Kev takes him in the third round of this year’s draft. 85 rushing yards on the season. The definition of inconsistent.
Bad Losses:
Kev has had three terrible awful no good very bad losses this year. The first came in week 6, when he lost to Guy by 1.6 points!! (119-120.6) If he had played Guy in week 5, Kev would have won 121.2 to 119. If he had played Guy in Week 7, he would have won 120.4 to 95.3. Ouch.
The second bad loss was in week 7, when Kev lost to Ken by the score of 120.4 to 124.7. If he had played Ken in week 6, he would have won 119 to 107.9. If he had played Ken in week 8, he would have won 123.5 to 81.8. This is getting comical.
The third and hopefully last bad loss was in week 8, when Kev lost to Robby D by exactly one point (Robby D is starting to feel like Taige. Has anything gone wrong for him this year?) If Kev had played Robby D in week 9, he would have beat Robby D. Kev definitely has the worst luck in this league, I don’t care what anyone says.
Gurley’s Gone (1-8):
Last Week:
This one is low hanging fruit, but I’m getting killed at work this week and I need to get these out. Ken’s matchup last week was the definition of bad timing. Just brutal, brutal, brutal. At 1-7, Ken’s season was already over. Despite that, he’s still playing for pride. He can still play spoiler and if you’re not playing against Ken, you probably want him to win. This past week, we all thought Ken had done us a favor. We thought he was gonna take down Keetz and help us out in the standings. Instead, Keetz destroyed his soul.
Ken scored 147.1 points in week 9, which was his season high. Ken would have beat 8 teams n the league this week. Unfortunately for him, Keetz was not one of those 8 teams. Unfortunately for Ken, Keetz scored 165.3. This totally changes the landscape of the league standings. Instead of being 3-6, and in trouble, Keetz is 4-5 and right in the playoff hunt. GOD DAMNIT.
Draft Day:
Ken and Keetz were interrelated this week and they were interrelated on draft day. Kenny had the 5th overall pick and Keetz had the 6th overall pick. The person you pick next to can have a huge impact on your draft. If they’re a stable and steady person, it can help you. If they’re unpredictable, it can mess with you. If you have similar tastes in players, they can rob a player from you right before you’re about to pick them. Every single round, one person picks and it immediately impacts the other one. It’s a mental war. It’s a dance. A dance of dragons, shall we say?
As we’ve seen this season, Keetz got the better of their draft day tango. This is no more apparent than in the first round, where Ken took Todd Gurley and Keetz took Zeke Elliott. Gurley has been a bust, coming in as the 18th ranked RB to date. Zeke is on his way to breaking every rookie rushing record and is a top 4 fantasy back this year. Ken made another HUGE fuckup in the third round, when he took Sammy Watkins over Mike Evans. Sammy Watkins is a bust, and Keetz took Mike Evans – the 2nd ranked WR in fantasy. Brutal.
Zeka-A-Virus (4-5):
Commish: I’ll start this with a non-football related question. In a few sentences, tell the league how you feel about the result of the presidential election.
Keetz: Realistically who the president is has little to no impact on my life. Hillary is a crook and trump is a narcissistic lunatic. He literally has no qualifications to be commander and chief, but this is America and we're going to make it great again. To be honest I voted for HRC because I didn't want to feel responsible if Trump fires off a bunch of nukes. Now that he is president I'm interested to see what he does. Looking forward to some hilarious state of the union addresses at the least
(Editor’s Note: Frader, you’re not the only one).
Commish: Okay, back to football. How did it feel to crush Kenny’s soul this week? I’m pretty sure that was the highest point total he put up all year, but you didn’t let him get that second win.
Keetz: It wasn't too long ago AP decided to beat his kid with a stick, which cost me my first round pick and derailed my season before it even started. I know what Ken is going through right now. That being said, it felt great. I would have put the odds at 60/40 (in Ken’s favor) going into Monday night, so I was thrilled to see Graham channel his inner OBJ with a couple one handed TD grabs. I'm sure Ken and Sawyer took a spin around the block after the game for some consolation road head, so he’s not getting any sympathy from me.
Commish: You’re in 5th place and in the playoffs as of now. With four weeks to go, how do you predict you’ll do the rest of the regular season?
Keetz: Tough match up against Bob this week, hopefully Jameson accidentally changes his lineup while he's playing Farmville or whatever little kids play on their parent’s phones. After that I have 2 must wins against 4-5 teams and a tune up against Frader before the playoffs. I'm pretty confident that I will sneak in but you never know, the fantasy gods are fickle.
Commish: I saw you put up $40 on Sproles this week. Do you think you went a little high?
Keetz: Definitely to high but I'm fighting for a playoff spot and 2 of my 3 running backs were on bye this week. With 4 teams at 4-5 and only 4 weeks left I didn't want to lose because I was forced to start Fozzy Whittaker or some other schmuck.
Commish: You have a top 3 WR corps in the league. TY and Mike Evans don’t need much explaining, but what are your thoughts on Allen Robinson? Pretty disappointing this year.
Keetz: It's been frustrating. I had A.J Green all queued up but you snaked him the pick before me. He has 3 games under 10 points which hurts but I'm a big believer in starting your studs. Allen Robinson has the talent but the rest of the team is holding him back. Bortles duped everyone last year and now I'm paying the price. Hopefully they finish the season strong but I'm a realist and am only expecting 5-10 points a game at this point.
Commish: Let’s switch focus to RBs. Is Frank Gore in the 7th round the steal of the draft? He’s currently the 8th ranked RB with 7 touchdowns and 700 yards of offense. He’s on pace for over 300 touches this season and already has 24 catches (on pace for almost 50). Tell me truthfully - did you have any idea he would do this at the ripe age of 33?
Keetz: I've been a big fan of Gore for a while and usually have him on at least one of my teams. I definitely didn't expect a top 10 running back when I drafted him, but I felt he had RB2 upside as long as he held up and didn't get hurt. Couldn't be more happy with the pick
Commish: On to the non football related questions: If you could only listen to songs by one artist/band for the rest of your life, who would it be?
Keetz: Sisqo - Thong Song...all day everyday
(Editor’s Note: I meant the entire artist’s arsenal of songs, but oh well. Keetz will also get jams such as Incomplete, Dance For Me, Unleash the Dragon and Dru World Order)
Commish: Last one: you have owned a dog for what, a year now? I’m actually looking to enter the dog owning business myself. What are the pros and cons of owning a dog?
Keetz: Just about...It will be a year in a week or so. Dog ownership is greatbut its a lot of work. My list of the pros and cons aside from the fact that dogs are awesome is below, hope it helps.
Pros
- You don't have to pick up crumbs when you drop them the floor
- Lots of hot babes want to touch your puppy
- You have someone to blame you farts on when they smell really bad.
Cons
- You have to walk them early in the morning and late at night, not that bad in Cali but I'd imagine it would suck in Boston when its 5 degrees.
- Its definitely a logistical challenge I travel some for work and i like to do cool shit so its just another thing you have to coordinate before you can go anywhere/do anything.
- I pick up a lot of poop, my dog is 75 lbs and shits 3 times a day. He is a pooping machine.
