Week 11 Recaps - Part 3
Apologies for the delay, Thanksgiving got away from me and I was WAY too hungover yesterday to finish these up. Better late than never, here are the rest of this week's writeups.
Kens 20 Min Backroad Brisket (7-4):
1. Robby D should be thankful for his wife Jen and his child, Jameson Gabriel Clerk Magistrate DeMagistris. As the only father in the league, Robby D has outside demands that none of us can relate to. Despite that, he’s still managed to make a finals appearance last year and clinch a playoff spot this year. He couldn’t have done it without his loving family and for that, he should be thankful.
2. Bob D should also be thankful that he bought into the WR hysteria this year. He got the third pick in the draft, which was actually kind of a tough pick. With Odell and Antonio off the board, there wasn’t really a sure-fire #3. Do you take AP, the consensus #1 RB? Or do you take Julio, the 3rd highest rated WR? You could also have taken Todd Gurley or one of the young RBs.
Robby D made the best pick he could have, selecting Julio Jones at 3 overall. If he had drafted AP, he would have had a bust on his hands. If he had drafted Todd Gurley, he would have had a bust on his hands. (those were the next two picks) Instead, he took Julio and has been rewarded with a top 2 season at the WR position. Coming into week 12 Julio led the NFL in receiving yards and is the only WR to top 1,000 on the year. He has 61 catches and is averaging a robust 18 yards per reception. To put that into perspective, Antonio Brown averages 12 yards per receptions while the speedster TY Hilton averages just under 16. Overall, Robby D made the right pick and is thankful for it.
3. Last but not least, Rob D should be thankful that the fantasy gods have shined down on him this year. He currently has a 7-4 record, but that could very easily be 5-6 or 4-7 if a few huge games hadn’t worked out for him. The first such game was week 3 when he put up just 88.5 points and won his matchup (of course, my team shat the bed in that one). If you score under 90 points you don’t really deserve to win and if I had to guess, I’d say your chances of winning when scoring 88.5 points are less than 5%. Lucky.
The second “lucky” win came in week 4, when he won 150.6 to 149. When you score 150, you do deserve to win. Having said that, there is an element of luck when you win a game by fewer than 2 points. In this win, Matt Jones scored 28.2 points. That was his season high and he’s not even the starter in Washington anymore. This was also the Julio Jones 47 point game. Julio had 300 receiving yards that game, which is just ridiculous. If Julio had 280 instead of 300, Robby D would have lost.
The third game like this was week 8, when he beat Broke Back Caleb by a score of 124.5-123.5. As with the last game, he scored enough points to deserve the win. As with the last game, when you win a game by that small of a margin you have to be thrilled. That is such a small margin of victory, so Robby D should feel pretty fortunate.
FLACCOPiAN TUBES (7-4):
1. Lamone should be thankful that he had the month of August off. While I was slaving away working 12 and 13 hour days all month, he was able to focus his energy on fantasy football. While I was sneaking in mock drafts on my lunch breaks and reading Matthew Berry articles on the shitter, he was doing fantasy football drafts naked on his couch and reading Matthew Berry articles on the shitter.
He used his time constructively and it has paid off. To date, he’s had his most successful season in the league and he’s clinched a playoff spot. He’s actually one of the heavy favorites to win the league, joining Tieg in the top 2 teams. If the playoffs started now, Lamone would have a first round bye. Praise be to God.
2. Lamone has to be thankful for his first round pick, David Johnson. Despite having the 9th overall pick, Lamone was able to get the #1 scoring RB in fantasy football. Eight teams passed on Johnson and when it came time for Lamone to make his pick, there was no other choice. The fact Johnson fell to Lamone is so lucky, just a pure example of fantasy providence.
The reason it happened was because Keetz took Zeke, I took Lamar Miller and Kev took Devonta Freeman. If I hadn’t drafted Johnson in a different league the night before, I was actually going to take him. Instead, Lamone got lucky. Fantasy providence indeed.
3. Lamone’s RBs are really strong this year and Lamone has at least one more RB to thankful for. Gay Ajayi is this year’s random bum of who becomes a fantasy star. Seriously, how the fuck has this happened. The Dolphins were the worst team in the league going into week 6 and not one RB on their roster was worth owning. Then, Ajayi rushed for 200 yards against the Steelers. Lamone made a very aggressive bid for him in free agency, as his RBs were banged up at the time. That move has paid off handsomely.
Ajayi went on to rush for 200 yards again the first week Lamone had him. Since then, he’s scored 12 points in every game and has become the unquestioned workhorse for the Dolphins. They feed him the rock so much and as a result, he’s currently the 11th highest scoring RB in our league. Lamone took a chance and it worked out, #thankful.
Can I Diggs It? Yes You Can (3-8):
1. Frader should be thankful that this season is almost over. It’s been a rough one for the former champ and things have just not gone his way. To start things off, he got the 10th pick in the draft. While that can be a good thing sometimes, it can also be tough. It obviously hasn’t gone well for Frader as he sits at 3-8 with two weeks to play. Even if he wins out and ends the season 5-8, he’d still finish somewhere between 7th and 9th place. He is officially out of the playoffs, and I bet he’s thankful this torturous season is almost over.
Like Theon's torture, Frader's torture will end.
2. Even though the season has been terrible for Frader, he should be thankful that one team is worse than he is. In normal years, 3-8 would be good enough for last place. Last year, 4-9 was our last place team (Luma). Not this year however, Ken has been historically bad this year. Ken’s 2-9 record put him on pace to finish at 3-10 and that’s assuming he splits his last two games. Considering the fact he plays the #1 seed and the reigning champ in his last two matchups, there is no guarantee Ken even gets 1 win.
If Ken finishes at 2-11, it would be the worst season since 2014 when Keetz matched that futility. Even if Ken does catch up to Frader in record, Frader will still avoid the Gabriel since Ken has very few points. The only way Frader will take the Gabriel is if Ken wins both of his last two games – not happening. Silver linings playbook for Frader right here.
3. Really reaching here, there isn’t much Frader should be thankful for when it comes to this season. I did find one thing though, an interesting trend. In each of the last two years, 2 of the bottom 3 teams have improved the following year.
In 2014, Guy and Robby D finished in 8th and 9th respectively, while Keetz finished as the Gabriel. The following year, Guy and Robby D faced off in the finals game. Meanwhile, Keetz made the playoffs and won his first round matchup (lucky as shit win vs me).
In 2015, Kev finished in 9th and Lamone finished in 10th. One year later, Lamone is on pace for a first round bye, while Kev is still firmly in the playoff hunt.
It’s not a huge silver lining, but it is nice to see that teams can bounce back from year to year. One bad year can really motivate the troops and set you up for success the next year. For Frader’s sake, let’s hope this trend continues.
Harambe Pink Socked Ken (4-7):
Commish: So Dylan, how's it going? Been an up and down year for you in this league. You currently stand at 4-7, how do you feel about your chances going forward?
Dylan: I feel like Harambe has bent me over and fucked me in the ass a lot recently. The name change thing was working for a while, but caught up to me. Desperation mode has kicked in. My team has been the definition of mediocre. I need a good old fashioned Arian Foster performance circa 2011 to get some wins these next few weeks. Let us pray. This is also the first year I haven’t found a waiver wire diamond in the rough.
Commish: Looking at your team now, it seems to be a combination of things. There is one thing that immediately sticks out though - your wide receivers are really lacking. This year everyone placed a huge emphasis on WRs, why did you go against the grain?
Dylan: Not sure to be honest. Kind of just took who fell to me at the time in the draft. Never been in the 4 slot before, always have been like 9 or 10 so it was foreign territory to me. Really blew it looking back. Surprisingly, if AP didn’t go down 6 of my first 7 picks would still be on my roster- feel like that’s an anomaly usually. Didn’t do one mock draft this year or really prepare much unlike other years so I’ll blame that. Also I was pretty stoned at the draft.
Commish: So I'll ask this one last time. What's with the name change? Just couldn't figure it out at first and then stumbled into the “every-other” naming convention? Also, should we expect any more name changes?
Dylan: No more name changes. My first 4 wins came on weeks where I changed my team name, naturally I became superstitious. As Michael Scott would say, “I’m not superstitious, I’m just a little stitious.”
Commish: I assume you're in some other fantasy football leagues, how are those going?
Dylan: I’m only in one other league. Team is currently 6-5 coming off a bad loss of AJ Green. Things are not looking good in that league either. Just a mediocre year all around on the Fantasy Front.
Commish: Is this league the most challenging and competitive league you're in?
Dylan: I can say without a doubt this is the best, most challenging, and competitive league around. Playoff spots always come down to the last week and tiebreakers. Definitely the most committed league I’ve seen. People at work actually look forward to reading the comish write-ups on a weekly basis believe it or not.
(EDITORS NOTE: I was beaming when I read that, I hope that’s true. I put a lot of work into this and I like to think that you guys enjoy these. Finding out that strangers even get some enjoyment out of them warms my tender heart)
Commish: Non football question - how are the ladies treating you these days? Any fish on the hook?
Dylan: Picture a deep-sea Swordfish captain. He’s got a long line a mile out in the Atlantic. Multiple hooks and bait off each segment of that line. Always has shit biting at the bait, always getting sent nude pics of chicks with fake titties, always juggling the task of reeling multiple lines, but that’s just to keep him occupied and on his toes. Hasn’t reeled in that thousand pound marlin (Eduardo Saverin Social Network shout out).
I must say, the captain gets bored easily. Silver lining- I dont have to spend thousands of dollars a year, I just lose it gambling!
Commish: Non-football random question - let's say you could only order one takeout menu item for the rest of your life. It wouldn't be the only thing you could eat for the rest of your life, just the only thing you could order from a take out menu for the rest of your life. If you went to a restaurant or made food, of course you could eat whatever you want. This is just strictly from an ordering perspective. If you could only order one menu item every time you order take out, what would it be?
Dylan: In a perfect world, my choice would be Guisados tacos from out in LA. Every meal of the day. Best tacos on the planet. Cop out answer? Yes, but suck it.
Commish: Non-football random question - going along with that, let's say you could only eat at one fast food place for the rest of your life. What would it be? Same as above, this is just if you were going to eat fast food. Basically you can pretend as though all other fast food places would be wiped out except for the one place you choose.
Dylan: Tough call. I’ve realized for a long time that I live a very unhealthy lifestyle. That eliminates Burger King and McDonalds. Also sadly eliminates Taco Bell. Wendy’s seems like the healthiest fast food option, so I’ll stick to spicy chicken sandwiches with no tomato and a barqs root beer fountain soda the rest of my life
