Week 12 Recaps - Part 3 — Protector Of The League

Included that picture as the highlight in honor of the Robby D interview. That was a simpler time, a fun time. We celebrated Robby D's 20th birthday on the Galapagos Islands - how many people can say that? Also, reminds me than Ken and I used to be friends. Also - blockage of Frader is HULLARIOUS. Now let's wrap up this week's recaps.

Gurley’s Gone (3-9):

I don't wanna waste much time on this one, but I have to get this out. This will be my last and final tirade towards Ken regarding the ridiculous situation we find ourselves in. I will likely mention it in Ken’s season obituary – which I could have written 6 weeks ago – but I won’t go into much detail then. Not after this.

I have never been this mad at Ken. We’ve been friends since I was 19 years old and didn’t know which side of the bed to piss on. We’ve been friends since I first blacked out on Keystone Lights. We’ve been friends since George W Bush was the rightful President of our Country. In all of those years, this is the most disappointed and betrayed I have ever felt by him. After all the work and effort I put into this league. After all the sacrifices each of us made this year. After all the time, effort and money that went into our trip, Ken has helped to tarnish the year.

What's the matter? Don't know any Shakespeare?

I’ve always been a Ken apologist too. When he makes a questionable trade, I defend it. When he loses his first 6 games of the year, I write some positives in his write-ups. When D Mo and Frader give Kenny shit, I stand by my “friend”. When Kev makes fun of him for wearing UMBRO shorts, I stand by….. actually, I kinda piled on there but who didn’t. Anyways, this is really disappointing. I feel like Lord Commander Mormont in Game of Thrones. Only this time, it’s not Karl and Rast stabbing me in the back, it is Ken and Tieg.

Moving on. The thoroughly disappointing season may end on a high note for Ken. He took down the best team in the league this week and in doing so, scored his highest point total of the season. He’s actually put up 145+ on two separate occasions, which is more than a few teams can say. The one thing I can easily point to for Ken’s good week is the Saints. Between three Saints players, Ken scored more than 87 points. Drew Brees embarrassed the Rams with 39 points on 310 yards and 4 TDs. Mark Ingram joined in with 35 points on 146 yards rushing, a rush TD and a receiving TD. Interesting stat for Ingram – he has more receiving touchdowns than rushing touchdowns this year. Hmmmm. Willie Snead was the third guy, putting up just 12.6 Solid for your flex.

This week Ken faces off against Guy in a matchup that could determine the Gabriel. Depending on a few outcomes, Ken will become the Gabriel. If not, then it will be Frader or Dylan.

Pure Taige (8-4):

Ironically enough, Ken’s partner in crime was the guy he played last week. Who woulda thought – the two guys who played each other the prior week then collude together the next week. I thought familiarity bred contempt, but I guess it breeds sketchy dealings.

Sadly, I have been this mad at Tieg before. On a few occasions actually. I’m kinda used to being pissed at Tieg since he’s committed so many egregious acts over the years. Let’s take a trip down memory lane to see just how many times I’ve been this mad at Tieg. (dates may be slightly off, doing this all on memory)

Instance 1 - Summer 2011:

Tieg refuses to pay for the league before the draft even though I was adamant about people doing so. That was the first year of the live draft and I needed to confirm attendance. I was trying to start a dynasty, a league that would last. I needed to make sure everyone would be there and the only way to do that was to require pre-payment. I didn’t know Tieg well at the time, so I thought it was reasonable. Tieg made things difficult by refusing to pay before drafting, leaving me to wonder if he would even show up. I guess it was fair, he wanted to prove that he’s reliable. He did prove so, but still, it was really annoying because everyone else complied. Anger level - 4 out of 10.

Instance 2 - Summer 2012:

Tieg refused to attend the draft or work with us to find a date that he could attend – too cool for school. I thought about replacing him, but he had just won the league. Honor and integrity would not allow me to kick him out. I respect fantasy football acumen and I recognized his skill as an owner. Ultimately, he was able to draft from a distance, but it was the second time in a year that he made my life difficult. Anger Level - 5 out of 10.

Instance 3 - Thanksgiving Weekend, Fall 2013:

After a year of relative peace, Tieg committed his worst act of all. Frader was coming back into town the night before Thanksgiving that year. Since we hadn’t seen him in a while, Tieg, myself, Lamone, Dylan and a few other people decided to party in Boston for the night. Rather than go home to see family and friends, we stuck around to see Frader. We all had a good night and I woke up the next day ready for the weekend. I didn’t realize at the time, but Tieg and Frader had conspired to steal my Bryant University Graduate School diploma off the wall in my apartment. I was basically blacked out, so I didn’t realize it that night or the next morning. I found out 3 days later when I returned home. I couldn’t believe it. How could two "friends” steal something like that? Hide it in my room? Fine. Hang it up somewhere else in the apartment? Fine. But to steal it? That is just downright insulting. Insulting doesn’t even begin to describe it. I actually thought about leaving the league or replacing Tieg at the time, but I swallowed my pride and allowed them to have their joke. About a month later (maybe more), I got my diploma back. This is the angriest I have ever been at Tieg. I worked my dick off for that diploma and wanted to kill him. Anger Level - 10 out of 10.

*By the way Frader – if you ever wanna give me shit for visiting Guy in LA before I visited you in SF, you can remember that night. Subconsciously I was still pissed at you for still stealing my diploma so I visited Guy instead of you. Guy is a decent man, a good friend and an honest person. He would never do that to me.

Instance 4 - Winter/Spring/Summer 2014:

Trophy Gate – this was almost as bad as the diploma. Tieg won the league in 2013 (third year of existence) and was the first owner of the GW Bush League Trophy. I had spent hours working with the trophy guys to create this thing and was really proud of it. Even though Tieg was a dick and stole my diploma, I honored my duties as Commissioner and HAND DELIVERED the money and trophy to his apartment. We then had relative peace for the next year. Frader went on to win the league in 2014, so Tieg was supposed to give it back. Guess what – he didn’t. It took me nearly 5 months, countless texts and calls and two visits to his apartment to get it back. Finally he matured and gave it back. I wanted to push him through the fuckin moon door. Anger Level - 9 out of 10.

Now I can add this to the list. I’ve only been friends with Tieg for 4-5 years and he’s managed to grind my gears pretty much once a year. At least I thought we were friends, you never know with him. Anyway, despite his loss to the hopeful Gabriel, his season outlook is bright. I don’t think his team is as good as Lamone’s or Keetz, but he may get a first round bye. He could definitely win the league again, but it'll be a battle. Only time will tell.

FLACCOPiAN TUBES (7-5):

Finally, someone in the league who hasn’t been a pain in the ass. To the contrary, Lamone has been a vital part of this league. From his hilarious team names, to the Gabriel trophy, to the draft boards he makes every year – Lamone is a contributor. Even though he didn’t tell anyone he was moving, he’s still a valued friend.

As I mentioned, he beat Kev this week. It was a HUGE win for Lamone, Keetz, Guy and myself. It knocked Kev out of playoff contention and guaranteed all of our spots. Like with all of our other good teams, Lamone was top heavy this week. Five of his players scored 10 or more, while 4 of his players scored fewer than 10. Further, three of his players accounted for 77 of his points, or 63%.

Aaron Rodgers was a beast on MNF, justifying the early 4th round selection. He put up 31.5 points on 300 passing yards with 2 TDs. Interestingly enough, both TDs went to Davante Adams – a guy who killed Lamone last year. David Johnson continued his quest for fantasy MVP, netting 30 points on 58 rushing yards, 100 receiving yards and a TD. He now has a receiving TD in 3 straight games and has 13 TDs on the year. He’s the #1 RB in fantasy and his only real competition for fantasy MVP is Zeke. Last but not least, Gay Ajayi had another strong game. His numbers have decreased a bit since his midseason bukake, but he’s still solid – 12 or more in each of the last three weeks. He’s a plug and play guy, who’ll get a minimum of 15 carries each game.

That’s the past, let’s look to the future. How does the rest of the season look for Lamone? It looks pretty good. He’s competing with Robby D, Keetz and Tieg for a first round bye. Two of those owners will get one, two will not. If Lamone wins and Robby D and Keetz lose, he’s locked into a top 2 spot. If Lamone loses and Robby D wins, he still could get a top 2 seed if Keetz loses (I think he has a safe lead on points with Bob D). If Keetz wins however, the only way he could get the 2 is if he wins and Tieg loses. Kind of complicated and I went through that quickly so it may not be 100% accurate.

After that, it’s anyone’s guess. I’ve said it before and I think everyone agrees – this is kind of a three team race. Everyone thinks that it’ll be Teeg, Keetz, or Luma taking the trophy. We will see, we will see.

Kens 20 Min Backroad Brisket (8-4):

Saved the best for last – here is the original Robby D interview.

Commish: Robby D, how's it going? Huge year for you in fantasy as you're 17-7 through the two leagues we're both in. You're the only one with a family, so figured you'd have less time for fantasy. How have you done it?

Robby D: Great question John. 2016 has actually been a pretty big year for me, Jen and my young son Gabriel. Although my family is constantly pulling on me for shit it's really all about prioritizing the things that matter... and for me that's family, friends, drinking, gambling and work. I have worked less in the last year than my first 5 years combined and I fucking love it. And when I do go in, I have a 1.5 hour drive going 10 mph through Boston so **I log a lot of fantasy time sitting in traffic**.

Commish: Come to think of it, you made the championship and lost in both of those leagues last year. Think you'll get over the hump this year?

Robby D: Last year was a bit of a fluke in both leagues, no doubt about it. A couple big waiver wire pick-ups (Freeman) and favorable matchups allowed me to skate through to the finals. I was never really confident about my teams, but this year is different. I had solid drafts and my teams have great chemistry. In this league especially. When Jordy has a shit week, Julio rips it up. When my RBs falter, Jordan Reed rips it up, etc etc. I’ve had a few big waiver signings (Jordan Howard and The Quiz) to improve my backfield and I'm in it most weeks. Feeling good this year.

Commish: If you don't win the GW Bush league, who do you think will?

Robby D: Lamone is stacked and there's nothing I would like to see more than a rags to riches story. No one I would like to hear it from more than the man, the myth, the legend... Luma.

Commish: Just out of my own curiosity, how does this league compare to the Westford League in your eyes? (I won't be offended so answer freely)

Robby D: There's really no comparison. I dedicate about 95% of thought and time to the GW Bush League and 5% to the Westford league. There is little communication around that league and we may get a message from the Westford commish once a month. Busch league to be honest but it's a good way to diversify and get a little more skin in the game each Sunday.

(Editor’s note: This is the league I won last year. Currently sitting in 9th place, so a riches to rags story. That’s what happens when your first two picks are DeAndre Hopkins and Allen Robinson and you lose 3 games by a combined 8 points. FML)

Commish: Alright let's talk about your players. I'll name the player/the issue and you tell me your level of concern:

Jordan Reed: separated shoulder, likely out this week - concern level?

Not concerned very much. Managed to come back last game after the injury and perform well. I'm going to wait until Sunday to make a call but have a solid back up for this very reason.

Julio Jones and Brandin Cooks: combined for 5.5 points last week - concern level?

Actually thrilled about it. Means they're due when I need them most. Love Brandin cooks bitching about his role (or lack thereof) in the NO offense. Classic black star agenda. Me Me Me. Brees will throw him a couple TDs this week to shut us both up.

Tim Hightower: Has put up good numbers recently, but he's their backup. Got saved last week with a lucky 11 point score on a trick play. - concern level?

Robby D: He’s a huge question mark in my offense so would love it if you could extend the trade deadline another week so I can get a RB actually worth something.

(Editor’s Note: too soon)

Commish: We have a good topic of conversation right now and the floor is yours. What do you think about the trade Ken and Tieg made?

Robby D: Ya know, there's winners and there's losers on every deal. Somehow, Ken loses every time. You would think just once he would at least get lucky. I see where they are both coming from and how both benefit from the trade so I guess it was fair. The real loser was the rest of the league who had to witness the shady shit go down in the 11th hour. Look I get it, Ken has 1 game left in his season and isn't going to start Cousins so why not get value for him. Tieg is the king fucking cobra of snakes (EN: AGREE). Classic Tieg move being all chill and suckering Ken into this lopsided trade that Ken would have never made at any other point in the season. Props to Tieg for pulling it off but should never have gotten to this point. Trade deadline should have been week 10.

It's coming. Some time, maybe not this year. But it will come.

Commish: Semi-related - If we were to name a new Commissioner to the League, who would be the best fit? (Again, won't be offended)

Robby D: if this is somehow your way of pulsing the crowd for your succession plan then I want no part of it. Commissioner Cannellos or nothing.

(Editor’s Note: couple more shenanigans like this might do it)

Commish: Non-football related question - are you going to have another kid? Jameson needs a little brother to beat up and he's almost 2 now?

Robby D: Jameson's brother is in the works. I had to pull out a few times because I was worried it might be a girl. Gotta pick your spots.

Commish: Non-football related question to end it - Let's do a “would you rather”: would you rather never be able to watch football again, or never be able to watch baseball AND basketball again? Incredibly tough one here, keep the best sport, or keep both of the others....

Robby D: Incredibly difficult. It may sound counter-intuitive but football is so good because every game is so important. The sport itself is the best to watch but between basketball and baseball you have almost 320 days of the year covered. Majority of the time, I come home from work either baseball or basketball will be on (likely in the background) but it's still there. Football is never on in the background, it's the focal point. Ultimately, I would trade up 4 months of football for 11 months of other major sports

(Editor’s Note: I see your point here Robby D. You get way more baseball and basketball than you do football – so you’d take those two and lose football. I actually struggle with this as well, the quality of the NFL is suffering and college football is meh (I only like the draft process). Despite that, I’d have to take football. I just love the game so much. If you told me hockey was going away it’d be a different story).