GWBL - Week 10 - Fastest 3 Minutes
Gentlemen,
Welcome back to GWBL entertainment - Week 10 edition. This is the first time I’ve been able to do back to back weeks, so hopefully we’re getting into a groove here. Anyways we’re going to take a page out of Chris Berman’s book and run through Week 10’s matchups - Fastest 3 Minutes Style.
Matchup 1: Tickle Pitts vs Covid Dak-Cine:
We travel back to 39R Middle Street for a matchup between old roommates. This matchup was a doozy so buckle up and hold on to your Pitts. De-Andre 3000 Swift was performing like it was 2003, jamming out to the tune of 25 fantasy points. My baby don’t mess around, because she loves me so and this I kno fo shooooooo. What a great song, Boom. BOOM BOOM WHOPPP.
Jamal Agnew was Agnostic to being tackled this weekend, carving up the Colts for 210 all purpose yards and 1 TD as Ken’s WR2. Should players get credit for punt/kick return yards Boom? More points more fun I say, Tom.
I know we’re having turkey next week, but Dylan enjoyed some Ceedee Lamb-Chops this week, getting 27 fantasy points from the Cowboys WR. Thanksgiving is a good time to remember the Native Americans who helped the Pilgrims and Dylan will be remembering the Chiefs this week. St. Patrick Mahomes and Darrel Philbin Williams combined for 75 points in his win over Ken.
Ticklers 176.7, Dak-Cine 152.25. WHOOPPPP.
Matchup 2: JOEY NUM NUM BRAIN FREEZE vs MO:
We head over to Mercer street for another matchup of former neighbors, this one between Tieg and Lamone. Tieg forgot to name his fantasy team before the season and forgot to set his lineup this week, keeping Justin Jefferson Airplane on the bench and off the runway. Those 20 bench points would have been useful in his flex spot Boom. FUMBLLLLEEEEE.
Likewise, Michael Young Carter Go Further Go Harder put up 19 bench points for Tieg. Tieg hasn’t won a title since 2013 and Da Drought 3 will continue if he doesn’t shape up.
Darren Moran Waller was a let down this week, netting 4.4 fantasy points for Lamone. Was last year a one hit wonder Boom? I’m not sure Tom, we’ll find out.
On the flip side, E-Zika Virus Elliot proved that covid isn’t the only virus we have to worry about. His 22 fantasy points were instrumental for Lamone.
With the help of Tieg’s Num NUm Brain Freeze, it was Lamone 95, Tieg 92. WHHOOOPPP.
Matchup 3: Fresh Prince of Bhel-Aire vs Hill Bill:
Matchup 3 features some old town-house mates of O5 (?), Rob D and DMO. This neighbors/old roommates theme is going strong.
Anyways Tyreek Hill Bill Volume 2 sliced and diced his way through the Raiders with a katana, scoring 24 fantasy points on 83 yards and 2 TDs. DMO’s week 10 matchup was like Ground Hog day, as Kyler Bill Murray re-winded to Week 9 and missed yet another game. Sadly for Darren, his team re-winded to scoring fewer than 90 points for the second week in a row. FUMBLLLLEEEEE
Josh Brown Allen led the way for Rob D’s squad, stealing iphones and scoring fantasy points like it was going out of style. His 27 points led all players in this one and led to another loss for the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS.
Antonio Banderas Gibson did his best Zorro impression on Sunday, hacking his way through the Buccaneers defense 26 times for 78 yards and 2 TDs. He wasn’t as efficient as Zorro, but his 25 fantasy points got the job done.
Fresh Prince 112, Hill Bill, 85. WHOOOPPP
Matchup 4: Trey Squared vs How I Metcalf Your Mother:
We travel 1 hour south of O-5 townhouse to Little Compton, RI for a battle between former life guards. Zach Moss grows fat on a rolling stone was a major let down for Kev, managing just 10 fantasy points in a cake-walk matchup vs the Jets. Kev wanted American Pie from his flex spot, but he got none.
Equally disappointing was DK How I Metcalf Your Mother, sinking Kev’s team with a 4.1 point nothing burger. This performance was like the Finale of the TV show, a complete let down.
Me-NAJEE au trois Harris had himself a threesome on Sunday, ramming his way to 23.5 fantasy points as Keetz’ RB1. His fellow AFC North RB showed his D’Ernest Magic Johnson as well, slinging his way to 23 fantasy points against the Patriots.
It wasn’t pretty, but Keetz took home the W. Keetz 89.85, Kev 82.6. WHHOOOPPP
Matchup 5: Fire That Pigskin vs. A Finkle In Time:
Our final matchup features another battle between old roommates, with former residents of H4 meeting in Week 10. Cordarrelle Patty Cake Patty Cake Baker’s Man Patterson was singing nursery rhymes on Sunday, netting a measly 5 points as Frader’s RB1.
AJ What Can Brown Do For You needs to shape up before the holiday season, coming in with an even worse 3 point performance as Frader’s WR1. I guess we better order our Christmas presents early this year, Boom.
Dal-Vin Diesel Cook was racing 10 second cars on Sunday, putting up 24 fantasy points for the Commish in this one. You never had me, you never had your car!
Stephan James Cannellos is my boy in real life, but Rhamondre Stevenson James Cannellos was my boy on Sunday. His NFL breakout netted 32 fantasy points on 100+ yards and 2 TDs. BOOM BOOM POW.
It was never in doubt after the Thursday Night game, Commish 124.4, Frader 86.85.
