Week 5 Recaps - Matchup 4, Matchup 5 and The Interview***

Matchup 4: Pure Taige wins 138.3 to 121.1:

Nice bounceback win for Tieg after his crushing week 4 loss (1.7 points). The win gives him a 4-1 record and 1st place in our league. I said it a few weeks ago, but Pure Taige is clearly the best team this year. Through 5 weeks, he has 717.9 points, which is good for 143.58 per week. That is absolutely RIDICULOUS. I know the scoring has increased this year, but holy shit. I saw he was putting up big points, but I didn’t know just how big until I looked at the standings just now. The 717.9 are 67.6 points more than the next highest team – Zeke-A-Virus. They are TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY more points than Ken has scored this year. This means, on average, Tieg scord 46 more points than Ken per week. For shame.

We all know how he’s doing this – his running backs. Tieg has historically put together RB heavy teams and this year was no different. The scoring changes I made really play to his strengths, which is something I didn’t consider when doing it. Damnit. Either way though, he has some serious talent at RB. DeMarco Murray is the #1 back in fantasy football right now. Despite the points, I still don’t think he’s at the same level as David Johnson, LeVeon Bell and Zeke Elliot. Still, he’s definitely in the top 6 or 7 RBs in the league. In week 5 he had a season high 27 carries for a season high 126 yards. He didn’t get into the endzone, but he still managed to score 24.6 points. He’s now put up 20 or more points in every single game this season with two 30 point games. I am the juggernaut bitchhhhhhh.

Tieg’s favorite player LeSean McCoy is also having a renaissance year. He also put up a season high in rush yards (18 carries, 150 yards) on his way to a 23.4 day. Over the last three weeks he’s put up 88.5 points with 2 one hundred yard rushing games. On the year he’s averaging 5.3 yards per carry, which is bananaland. I’ve said this about a few backs already, but why don’t teams just stack the box against the Bills? It’s not like they have any downfield threats with Sammy Watkins gone.

Tieg’s third RB Terrance West had a somewhat quiet day, but still chipped in with 12.1 points. He almost cracked the 100 yard mark for the second straight week and looks to have a hold on the Ravens RB job. Everyone was hyping up Kenneth Dixon, but this is Terrance West’s job to lose.

The worst part for us and the best part for Pure Taige is that Jamaal Charles is finally healthy. Tieg has been doing all of this without third round pick. Even though he may lose some touches to Spencer Ware, Charles could definitely be a top 15 RB the rest of the way. I’m baaaaaackkkkk

Matchup 4: Broke Back Caleb loses 121.1. to 138.3:

After a hot 3-0 start, Broke Back Caleb has lost two in a row and finds himself in a precarious position. He didn’t have a bad week this week, but he was only 6th in scoring. I don’t need to tell you that’s not good enough when you’re playing the best team. But I just did tell you. It’s not all bad for Kev, so let’s focus on the positives for a second.

Devonta Freeman is clearly past the early season struggles. Somehow, someway, the Falcons are able to maintain two fantasy relevant running backs. Freeman put up 24.4 points this week on a season high 23 carries for 88 yards. He scored his second rushing touchdown of the year against the Broncos and also chipped in 3 catches for 35 yards. He’s the 8th highest scoring RB in fantasy and is 6th in the NFL with 527 all-purpose yards. Just for fun, let’s look at a Devonta Freeman highlight….

Larry Fitzgerald was huge for Kev this week, putting up 23.1 points. The ageless wonder caught 6 passes for 81 yards and two TDs with Drew Stanton as his QB. The 49ers defense is absolutely pitiful, but still a good game by Larry Fitz. Remember when there were rumors the Pats might get him? That would have been awesome.

Alright, enough of the good news let’s finish this with some bad news. Kev has been hit HARD with the injury bug. HARDDDDDDD. DOWN LIFE’S ROCKY ROAD….

His third round pick Doug Martin has not played since week 2 with a hamstring injury. The Bucs are on a bye this week, so Larry Bird ain’t walking through that door. I mean Doug Martin ain't walkin through that door.  He should be back after that, but that’s 4 straight weeks without your #3 pick. His second round pick Cam Newton got injured in week 4, suffering a concussion. The way it happened was so fucking dumb too. Cam had a clear path to the endzone and rather than running it in like a normal person, he attempted to showboat his way into the endzone. Little did he know that a Falcons safety was waiting right there to fucking POP him and give him a concussion. SONG'S OVER SAMBO!!! (Remember the Titans anyone?)

Two more injuries to brighten your day – Eric Decker and Tyler Eifert. Decker came out of nowhere with a shoulder injury and is now likely out for the year with a torn rotator cuff. That really hurts Kev as Decker was having a solid year – averaged 12 points per game. Last but not least, Tyler Eifert has yet to return from his injury. Kev knew he was a risk in the 10th round, but he was supposed to be back in week 4. It’s now week 6 and he may not even play this week. Tough breaks all around.  

Matchup 5: Can I Diggs It? Yes You Can won 131.2 to 99:

The story of Frader’s week is that Gronk is finally back. Tom Brady’s return also signaled the return of Gronk, who woulda guessed it. After putting up 1.6 points in the first 4 weeks, Gronk had a 15.4 point performance this week. It sounds bad, but the fact he didn’t catch a TD is actually good. He looked healthy on a couple of long receptions and caught 5 passes for 109 yards. He got tackled at the one yard line on one of his catches, so it could have been a 21 point day. 

Guess who punched in that 1 yard TD? LeGarrette Blount. Guess who’s team Blount is on? Frader’s. The Garrette scored 13.3 points for Frader this week on 37 yards rushing and a TD. I said that the return of Tom Brady would hurt Blount and I believe I was right. Blount had a season low in rushing yards (37) and the only reason he racked up 18 carries is because we shat on the Browns. If he didn’t have that touchdown, he would have scored just 7 points. He’s gonna have some big days going forward, but he’ll be hard to trust.

I talked about all of the other awesome RBs, so let’s look at LeVeon Bell. He put up 23.9 points this week and through his first two games, he’s scored over 50 points. Not bad,  not bad at all. The best part is that he already has 14 receptions through 2 games. FOURTEEN!!! That’s more than the following RBs who have played all 5 weeks – Matt Forte, Carlos Hyde, Christine Michael and Spencer Ware. The NFL Leader in all purpose yards is Jeremy Kerley (never woulda guessed that) with 722. He’s averaging 144 yards per game. LeVeon is averaging 166 yards per game. I know you don’t like to do math problems, so I’ll do it for you. If he keeps this up, he’ll put up 2,158 all purpose yards on the season. The last RB to put up more than that was Adrian Peterson in 2012. That was on 16 games though.

This is a boring one, but the Vikings D is just so ridiculous. They are clearly the best defense in the NFL and I’m praying to God the Patriots don’t have to play them in the Super Bowl. Through 5 weeks, they have put up 71 points, or 14.2 per week. The 71 points is more than notable players such as Jarvis Landry (sucks), Mark Ingram, Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin. It’s 16 more points than the next defense, the Bills (kinda surprising). Prince did die this year, but the Purple Reign lives on

Matchup 5: Gurley’s Gone lost 99 to 131.2:

Alright guys, as promised here is another interview. This week I chose Ken, out current Gabriel. Let’s see what he had to say about his team, fantasy football in general and some random topics.

Commish: In three words or less, describe how you feel about your team

Ken: Keep the faith

Commish: Okay, now give me the real scoop. What do you honestly have to say about your team. I have one bad team and I could bitch about it for days.

Ken: Sammy Watkins, Josh Gordon, Eddie Lacy, Todd Gurley, Jeremy Hill, Julian Edelman. Who wouldn’t like to have those dudes on their team after eating Tieg’s famous caramel’s and drafting drunk in Austin? By the way, what’s Tieg’s margin on those things? I think I should invest more time in that operation than my fantasy team.

Commish: You have other fantasy teams, right? How are those going?

Ken: 3-2 and tied for 3rd place in a 12 man PPR league. It’s guy’s from NH. I was 3-0 then the fuck Dez Bryant happened.

Commish: How do you explain the fact that you are in last in our fantasy football league, but you’ve won 2 out of the 3 weeks of pickem?

Ken: I think I’m a big picture kinda person. There are too many intangibles with managing multiple fantasy teams – looking at those individual matchups can be mind bottling. I kinda feel like Sara Melley paying for our football squares in quarters durng the Super Bowl…..and winning. The major difference, I don’t wet the bed.  

Commish: Non football question: if you had to do karaoke in from of the entire league, what song would you pick?

Ken: Duet? Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, I need you. Solo? Piano Man or Garth Brooks, “Papa Loved Mama”. Depends on the booze that evening.

Commish: Non football question: I’ll repeat this from Lamone’s interview because this could get dark. If you got to kill your worst enemy, how would you do it?  

Ken: Definitely torture. I’d drop them off on the South Pole with no supplies and let them die. Then 50 years later they’d be found curled up in an ice ball like a bitch.