WEEK 8 RECAPS - PART 2 — Protector Of The League

The West Canaan Coyotes: 3-5

Alright here we go, the rant you’ve all been waiting for/won’t read because nobody cares. Honestly I don’t even know where to begin, this is easily the worst luck I’ve ever had in fantasy football. I cannot believe how unlucky I’ve been the last 3 weeks and it has me questioning everything about fantasy football, real football, my life, God and many other things. Seriously, check out these stats:

- I have the most points scored in the league, yet I’m in 7th place at 3-5.

- This is because I have the most points against. My opponents AVERAGE 141 points per week. If you take out the 79 points Rob D scored against me in Week 3 (I scored 154 so the win was earned), my opponents have scored an average of 149 per week. FUCKING AVERAGING 149 per week.

- In 8 weeks, my opponent has led the entire league in scoring four times. Not one, not two, not three, but four. Not almost half, legitimately half of my games.

- Not only have I faced the high scorer in 4 separate weeks, but the top two scores by any team this entire season have come against me. Keetz has the highest output of anyone with 174 in Week 6 – I played him in Week 6. Ken has the second highest output any team in any week with 172 in Week 8 – I played vs. Ken in Week 8.

- Keetz put up 174 against me in Week 6. In Week 5 he put up 76, in Week 7 he put up 104 and in Week 8 he put up 109.

- Tieg put up 166 against me in Week 7. In Week 8 he put up 103.

- Ken put up 172 against me in Week 8. In Week 7 he scored 117.

- Not only that, but I got off to a great start on Thursday each of those weeks.

In Week 6 I had Saquon Barkley go for 39 on TNF.

In Week 7 I had Emmanuel Sanders go for 26.5 on TNF.

In Week 8 I had Lamar Miller go for 25.9 on TNF.

All of that just to lose on Sunday. What a joke. I know it’s only Halloween, but in case anyone’s looking for any Christmas gift ideas for me – I have one. I want the fantasy football gods, right here, at my office where I am because I work til 10 every night (sick life) and I want to look them straight in the eye and I want to tell them what cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of monkey shit they are! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Zeke-A-Tyreek: 3-5

Okay my head actually hurts from being so upset. And tired, it’s 11 PM and I’m writing this. For the love of the league. Anyways let’s look at some numbers here. After putting him the league high against me (last one), Keetz’s luck hasn’t been so great. He’s averaged merely 106 per game the last two weeks and given the absurd scoring this year, that’s just not enough to win in this league (usually). So what’s wrong?

One thing I’ve noticed is that Brandin Cooks has really slowed down. After averaging 17.5 points per game in the first month of the season, he’s been pretty mild since. He missed week 5 with an injury and has averaged a modest 10 points per week since then. If it weren’t for a TD in week 7, he’d only be averaging 8 (how’s that for quick math…. Okay I used a calculator). Anyways, he’s only caught 9 passes in that three week span despite the Rams being awesome and Cooper Kupp missing time with injury. Maybe he’s due, but it kinda seems like he’s just not a focal point of the offense.

The other thing that’s been bad is his RB1 and RB2. In Week 7 his two RBs combined for 13 points (Zeke+Corey Clement). In Week 8 it was even worse when they combined for 9.1 points. Zeke was on a bye last week but still, that’s pretty weak.

Lucky for Keetz he has a matchup vs. Robby D this week. At 4-5 he’s right back in it.

SLAMMY TWATSKiNS: 3-5

I hate to do this but I have to start with Lamone’s points against. He now has the fewest points of any team in our league after a brutal week 8 when he scored 88 points. It was actually the second week in a row he failed to top 90 and over the past two weeks, he’s scored a combined 168 fantasy points. Two of my last three opponents scored more than that in a single game. Sorry, there is legitimately no end to my bad luck.

So again I ask – what’s wrong? First off, Lamone has entrusted his RB2 spot to the Buccaneers shitshow of a backfield the last two weeks. In Week 7 he started Peyton Barber, who promptly put up 5.2 points. In Week 8 he started Ronald Jones, who scored 1 point before getting injured. Sheesh.

Keenan Allen continues to suck as well. He scored 9.7 in Week 7, before his Week 8 bye. If he has a huge second half like he did last year, Lamone might be able to turn things around. If not, Lamone’s gonna find himself picking at the top of the draft next year (I do like the lottery system we did this year).

As bad as his RB2s have been the last 2 games, his WR2s have been almost as bad. Week 7 it was Taylor Gabriel with 4.3. The Bears scored 31 on the Pats but somehow Gabriel didn’t do a thing. In Week 8 it was Randall Cobb with 6. The Packers put up 27 and Cobb did next to nothing. Big matchup with Dyl this week, BIG matchup.

Dalvin CooKens African Rhino: 1-7

Congratulations to Robby D on finally breaking the streak. It took us 8 weeks, but the winless watch is over. I think someone has gone 1-12 in this league (won’t look it up), but no one has gone winless. It’s probably bitter sweet, but I bet it feels good to get the monkey off the back.

Dalvin Cook has been the #1 reason for Robby D’s failures. His 2nd round pick has 30 fantasy points on the season and has missed 5 games to date. He’s not expected back this week and the Vikings have a bye in Week 10. Cook is RB65 right now and I bet he’ll be closer to RB85 by the time he comes back.

On the brightside, Odell Beckham has been great this season. He’s WR4 on the year and has 61 catches for 785 yards and 2 TDs (+1 passing TD). While the Giants are awesomely bad, Odell has managed to produce. He’s probably due for a few TDs as well. Unfortunately for Robby D he’s on a bye this week.

On a random/final note, I wonder how the Golden Tate trade is going to work out. He’s on a better team, but I’m not sure the situation is any better. Like Beckham, he’s also on a bye this week which leaves Robby D a little thin at WR. Will he get back to his losing ways, or make a late season push to avoid the Gabriel?

WEEK 8 INTERVIEW, KEETZ

This week we stay on the west coast and get some time with Keetz. Here’s the unfiltered interview

1. Keetz, how’s everything going for you out in Cali? Any updates to share with the league?

Everything is going great. Nothing really as far as updates go just trying to figure out how to work less and get paid more.

2. We saw that you went to the Sox game last Friday night. How was that?

Mixed feeling about Friday night's game. On one hand you don't get many opportunities to watch your team play in the world series and I got to see history but 18 innings is a lot of baseball. First time I've gone from sober to buzzed to drunk to hangover to dehydrated all in one game. I went to Sunday's game as well to watch them clinch it and that was unreal. I'd guess 40% of people were Sox fans and the atmosphere was electric.

3. What was the mood like in Cali after the Dodgers lost the series? Any riots or business as usual….

Business as usual. Unless its an anti-Trump rally people tend to do their own thing.

4. On to fantasy football – how many leagues are you in and how is it going for you this year?

I try and just stick to just the GWB League but Melissa is in a League with a bunch of our friends out here. It's her team but I drafted, manage the waivers and set the line up so I guess I'm in 2. 12 team league with divisions (not a fan of divisions) currently 6-2 so ironically the team I don't care about is better than the one I do.

Editor’s Note: that’s how it always goes in fantasy for some reason. Care less, win more.

5. As for our league – how are you feeling about your team?

Post draft I felt pretty good but it's not looking great right now. With Freeman, Fuller and Ajayi all out for the season Its been a pretty rough year for me a far as injuries go. Couple that with some questionable picks early in the draft and you have a borderline playoff team. Hopefully I can end the season strong but I'll be lucky if I squeak into the playoffs.

6. At one point I thought the wide receivers were a strength on your team - Tyreek Hill, Doug Baldwin and Will Fuller. Fuller is out for the season, Hill is hurt and Baldwin scored 3.6 points in Week 7. Are you concerned about your WR group?

Yea I'm concerned but I still have 2 of the top 20 receivers in the league this year excluding the 3 guys you mentioned. Hill was a full practice participant today so hopefully the groin injury isn't too serious but you never know with soft tissue injuries. I'm equally if not more concerned about my RB's. And by concerned I mean everyone not named Zeke sucks.

7. League Champions Only: I’m still struggling with ideas on a new league trophy: the current one is too big to continue with since it’s an eye sore and tough to ship. (Hence why you haven’t received anything for your title yet, which is probably the reason my luck has been so poor this year – dereliction of duties). Anyways what do you think we should do for a league trophy going forward? I want two aspects: a) something that can be passed between owners each year and b) a second piece that can be kept by each owner indefinitely. Thoughts?

a) I have been advocating for a perpetual plaque. Can be mailed each year, wont take up a ton of space, and commemorates all the previous winners.

http://www.plaquemaker.com/pledge-perpetual-plaques

b) I'm not a big knick-knack guy so I would probably go with a T-shirt or jacket that has the year and George W. Bush Fantasy Football League Winner embroidered/screen printed on it.

Editor’s Note: That’s it, going with that. Thank you Keetz.

8. Any final words for the league? Any thoughts on rule or format changes?

You've gotten some heat this year and in the past about the position limit and roster size but this is actually something I've come to like about the league. I'm in favor of bumping it up to 12 people if we can find someone else in addition to Dmo that would be a good addition. Other than that thanks for putting together another great season and looking forward to getting together for the draft next year.