WEEK 9 ENTERTAINMENT
WEEK 9 RECAPS
No write-ups this week? Where are the recaps? Has Commish given up on the season? Is Commish alive?
Those were probably the questions you all asked yourselves as you patiently waited for GWBL weekly recaps to be posted on the awesome and well maintained site this week. Don’t lie, you’ve been wondering. Although my writing is poor and my jokes are worse, you all anxiously wait for the 10 minutes of reading each week. For those of you who can read….coughlamonecough.
Unfortunately this week I have not been able to get to them until Thursday. Usually I work til 10 PM on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I then spend an hour to write the recaps and leave at 11 PM. Wash, rinse, repeat. Unfortunately this week PwC has gotten the better of me. Work til 12 PM, go home, watched Forged in Fire til 1:30 AM, go to sleep. Wash, rinse repeat. If anyone is hiring, my resume is updated.
Anyways I thought it would be wrong to not give something by way of recaps. I enjoy this league more than most things in life and I take pride in the 7 year tradition of providing weekly entertainment. Why break a 7 year tradition for a job I’m probably leaving in 7 days amirite? Hence, this is why I’m spending my Thursday juggling emails calls questions and general bullshit to do these recaps. The things I do for love…..
Long entry, quick segue to the recaps. This week we’re going to switch it up and do matchup previews. I’ll look at each matchup, give a reason why each team could win and then predict a winner/score. Not a great recap, but hopefully this will give you something to read on your commute home today. Or during the commercials on TNF, either way. Let’s go.
Matchup 1:
You Done Messed Up, A A RON! (4-5) vs Deangelo Vickers (5-4)
Why Frader Can Win:
Fraders wide receivers severely outflank Guy’s. Michael Joe Horn Thomas could get on the phone with Drew Brees often, while Karma Smith-Schuster is due for a big game – he hasn’t scored since Week 5. (Karma…JuJu… get it?)
Why Guy Can Win:
Todd Gurley’s having a fucking blast this season baby and he’ll lead Guy’s team again this week #whiteguysconnect. Gurleys got 160 more rushing yards than anyone else and leads the league with 16 total TDs. Tevin Coleman is coming off a big game and while I pissed on that guy’s face at a Bennigan’s, his 16 point projection looks pretty good.
Projections:
Guy 131: Frader 126
Prediction:
Guy 125: Frader 115
I agree with the projection: Guy for the win. Frader is missing Deandre Hopkins this week and both of his starting RBs are questionable to play on Sunday. Oh and Todd Gurley.
Matchup 2:
Ken’s African Safari (7-2) vs DalvinCooKens AfricanRhino (1-8)
Why Ken Can Win:
As usual it comes down to Ken’s receivers. Downtown Antonio Brown should have a big showing on Thursday night and Julio will try to keep up with the Jones’ by scoring a TD for the second week in a row. Julio hasn’t scored a TD in back to back weeks since week 1 and 2 of 2016(!) but I say he does it this week.
Why Robby D Can Win:
Hard to find anything here, but I’ll go with regression. Ken can’t really go 8-2 after maybe or maybe not drafting his team right? Ken won’t really beat Robby D twice in one season right? Will Robby D really start 1-9? Robby D planned Ken’s bachelor party so maybe the fantasy gods will throw him a bone here.
Projections:
Ken 133: Robby D 108
Prediction:
Ken 130: Robby D 100
Hate to say it but I don’t see any way Ken loses this matchup. His team is as good as or better than Robby D’s at every position. I think a 25 point spread is reasonable and I’d probably take Ken to beat it.
Matchup 3:
Thanos anal snap (7-2) vs SLAMMY TWATSKiNS (3-6)
Why Tieg Can Win:
Gonna go with Tieg’s elite RBs here. Melvin Gordon Bombay blew a .6 during his DUI stop and is RB6 on the season. Cash Rules Everything Around Me Hunt is coming off a 36 point game and plays the Cardinals this week (C.R.E.A.M. and Kareem…. a reach). James Barry White has been serenading Tieg’s roster all year and ranks as RB7 to date. Three RBs in the top 7 makes Tieg the front runner for the league title.
Why Lamone Can Win:
Lamone’s got awesome matchups this week all across his roster. His players play against the Saints, Chiefs, Giants, Raiders, Browns and Bears this week. Aside from the Bears there isn’t a single defense that scares you.
Projections:
Tieg 132: Lamone 119
Prediction:
Tieg 154: Lamone 125
I agree with ESPN yet again, Tieg will get his 8th win and Lamone will fall to 3-7. How can you possibly beat a team that has Gordon, Hunt and James White?
Matchup 4:
Zeke-a-Tyreek (4-5) vs Skertz skRtz w Mahomiez (5-4)
Why Keetz Can Win:
The wide receivers could carry the day here and Keetz will need a big performance out of them if he’s to get a win over Dyl. Tyreek Henry Hill and the goodfellas of Kansas City will put up points, while Brandin Cooks an Italian family style dinner to hold the team over. Tyler Pretty Boy FloydBoyd will benefit from increased looks in the absence of AJ Green.
Why Dylan Can Win:
For the first time all year Dylan will have a fully healthy roster. Leonardo DiCaprio Fournette has a decent matchup in Indy, where he’ll be playing the newly healthy TY Hilton and the Indianapolis Cults. Fournette will probably pull his hammy in the first quarter, but maybe not. His FLEX is also back in action after getting hurt a few weeks ago - Cooper one man one jar…. I mean two girls one Kupp will look to take a dump on the Seahawks depleted secondary.
Projections:
Keetz 123.3: Dylan 123
Prediction:
Keetz 139: Dylan 145
This is actually the closest matchup we have on paper so I’m hoping for a good fight. Although the projections give the slight edge to Keetz, I say Dylan gets it done here. Highest scoring matchup of the week.
Matchup 5:
The GOAT And His Kids (5-4) vs The West Canaan Coyotes (4-5)
Why Kev Can Win:
I’m Rick James Conner bitch has been fuckin people’s couches all year long on his way to RB2 status in our scoring. The super freak (last one) has four consecutive games with 33 or more points which is not only LeVeon Bell like, it’s better. His 25 point projection seems low. Dion the artist sang Runaround sue and I think that’s exactly what Dion Lewis the RB will do to the Pats in a revenge game. Mark Ingram not the first, but the II also looks to have a huge game this week.
Why Commish Can Win:
Maybe I’ll get lucky? I mean… these points against totals have to regress at some point right? Right?!?! Over the last 4 weeks my opponents are averaging 161 points per game with a minimum of 132. That’s unfair and I’d like to think things will even out.
Projections:
Kev 119: Commish 138
Prediction:
Kev 120: Commish 110
Watch this be the week where my opponent doesn’t go off, but I just don’t get it done. Same thing happened in Week 4 and that lost has almost cost me my season. This loss will.
