WEEK 2 RECAPS - PART 2
Thanos anal snap defeats Zeke – a – Tyreek 134.3 to 115.7
Down: Tieg came up with a huge win in Week 2 and scored the 2nd most points of any team. The 134 points is impressive - it’s even more impressive when you see that he got a big old ZERO from Mike Wallace in his WR2 spot. Normally when you get 0 from a starter you end up losing, but the rest of the anal snaps picked up the slack. Come to think of it, I got 0 from my defense in Week 2. Kinda weird that the two highest scorers both had a 0 performance in their starting lineup. HMMMMMM
Set: Last week I took a big ole dump on Amari Cooper and declared him a BUST. CUNCEL. That didn’t work out so well and I am now suffering from a serious case of foot in mouth. Despite a rough matchup at Denver, Cooper hauled in 10 catches for 116 yards and 18.6 fantasy points. I think Cooper will be boom or bust all year, but performances like this make his bad weeks much more tolerable. (Calling it: he will suck this week against the Dolphins and their elite defensive backs.)
Hut: Losing Greg Olsen was a tough blow for Tieg, but he wisely (Luckily? Selfishly?) also took Trey Burton in the 8th round of our draft. Normally taking two TEs with your first 8 picks is stupid, stupid, stupid, but now Tieg looks like a genius. Burton scored 10.4 points this week on 4 catches for 20 yards and TD. With how bad the TE position can be this is huge.
Zeke – a – Tyreek falls to Thanos anal snap 115.7 to 134.3
Down: Down goes the champ! Down goes the champ! Dating back to last year, Keetz hadn’t lost a matchup since WEEK 5. That is not a joke - Keetz went undefeated from Week 6 through the title game during the 2017 season (had a first round playoff bye and of course only scored 97 points so he would have lost had he played…. Gotta love fantasy football.) Anyways, Week 5 of the 2017 season ended on Monday, October 9th. That means Keetz didn’t lose a matchup in our league for OVER THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY (340) days. What what what?!?!?
Set: The weird thing is – his team didn’t play too badly. 116 points is a respectable number and he got 30 points from his RBs (Zeke/Ajayi), 39 from his WRs (Tyreek/Cooks) and 23 out of his FLEX (Will Fuller). Things went wrong with his specialty positions though. Real wrong. Luck scored just 15 despite getting the win, his TE scored 4 points and his kicker/D scored 3.5 combined. Tieg’s kicker/D scored 18.5 to Keetz’ 3.5 and that was most of the difference.
Hut: Aside from the loss, Keetz took a big L this week when Devonta Freeman was ruled out with an injury. His 2nd round pick will miss somewhere around 3-4 games and that just sucks. Tevin Coleman owners rejoice. I don’t feel that bad for Keetz though - his 2nd round pick last year was Todd Gurley so I guess a little regression was coming his way.
Kens African Safari falls to skErtz skErtz w Mahomiez 113.7 to 122.5
Down: Ken’s roster is in absolute shambles right now and looks like a casualty collection point on Omaha Beach. Joe Mixon will miss nearly a month with a knee injury and Alex Collins is Questionable for Week 3 (should be fine though). Julio Jones is dealing with a lower body injury (shocker) and Evan Engram is Questionable with an ankle injury. Marlon Mack is also questionable with a foot injury and Edelman is suspended for another 2 weeks. Tough goings for Kens African Safari these days.
Set: Everyone makes a bad start/sit decision from time to time. You overthink it, you try to get cute, you try to play the matchups, etc. For whatever reason we all do dumb things in fantasy from time to time (except for Keetz apparently). All that said, no one made a worse decision than Ken did when he sat Adam Thielen and started Emmanuel Sanders in his flex last week. ADAM THIELEN ON THE BENCH?!?! The #9 WR from 2017 who scored 15 points in Week 1….. on the bench. Thielen scored 27.1 while Sanders scored 11.6 – that cost Ken 15.5 points and he lost by 8.8. Live look at Ken on Sunday….
Hut: The other reason Ken lost was because of his #1 and #2 WRs – Antonio Brown and Julio Jones. After combining for 45 points in Week 1, the two combined for a measly 20.1 in Week 2. Live by the three, die by the three.
skErtz skErtz w Mahomiez defeats Kens African Safari 122.5 to 113.7
Down: Honestly Dyl was lucky to get out with a win in this game. AB and Julio both shit the bed for Ken and I already mentioned the Thielen faux pas. That said, 122 is still a good total and a winning score in many weeks. So how did he do it? skErtz skErtz with Mahomiez. The two guys Dylan named his team after scored a combined 61.2 points. The 14.9 Ertz scored was nice (11 for 94), but the 46.3 Mahomes scored was record breaking (not in fantasy, in real football). Mahomes shredded the Steelers D for 326 yards and 6 touchdowns on Sunday, which was why Dyl got the W.
Set: TY Hilton had a nice game and is proving to be a stable source of production. Through 2 games he’s got 12 catches for 129 yards and has scored in both games. He’s not putting up Michael Thomas numbers, but he’s a very solid WR1 for Dyl’s team.
Hut: Another win from a team that didn’t get shit from their K/DST. I generally believe that whoever gets the better D/ST performance will win, but that just hasn’t been the case this week. Dyl got 2 from his D and .5 from his kicker for a whopping total of 2.5. Ken’s kicker and D combined for 9.5. Not substantial, but it does matter. I’m probably just overthinking, so let’s move on.
WEEK 2 INTERVIEW – skErtz skErtz w Mahomiez
1) Hey Dyl, how's it hangin? How was your summer?
Fastest summer of my life. Weddings. Travel. Work. Golf. Where did it go? Made it to the cape like twice which is a joke.
2) What do you have on tap for the fall season? Any good plans?
Falls a busy one too. Seattle this weekend for client stuff - going to the Seahawks game and sitting 5 rows from the field. Florida for Tiegs wedding. Dmos wedding. Chicago and Charleston. That’s just through October. Gonna be 2019 before you know it. Oh also spending a weekend in October playing this course called Diamond Creek. It’s in the mountains in NC. Real sick. Flying to Charlotte to play Quail Hollow first with one of the big dogs in my company then were flying his chopper up to the other course. Should be unreal. #picsoritdidnthappen
Commissioner’s Note: I need to find a new job.
3) Now on to football. How’s fantasy going for you this year and are you in any other leagues?
1 league this year. Little weird but nice to just have one league to focus on.
4) In terms of our league, how do you feel about your team? You had a tough Week 1 loss, but came back with a big win in Week 2.
Feel good about the squad. Week 1 sucked, if I played 1 of 2 potential bench guys I woulda won. Oh well. Feel good though. Pat Mahomes is an absolute gunslinger and is gonna throw 60 TDs this year. Fuck Kareem Hunt he aint getting those carries. Fuck yo couch Kareem.
5) Your quarterback room got realllyyyy interesting with the Mahomes breakout. How do you feel about your QBs?
Answered this one above by accident. I feel real good though. Deshaun Watson was rusty game 1 but both guys are gonna be 30+ point threats every week. Not stressing about QB at all
6) What would you say is your team’s biggest strength? Biggest weakness?
My strength is my 2 awesome RBs (Kamara and Fournette). That and my QB situation. I’m worried about the WRs but that’s just gonna have to be a week to week thing.
7) Looking at the league’s landscape, who do you think are the key players this year?
Love Todd Gurley (Howard). Gets all the goal line love and is just a monster. Michael Thomas just looks unstoppable. Has like 30 catches thru 2 weeks? That is just bananaland (Frader). He might break some all time records. Pretty disappointed in Saquon Barkley so far (Commish obviously). When will the Fitzmagic come to an end?
8) Last one, obligatory here: how’s the single life treating you?
It’s great. So busy with work and other stuff I just don’t even care. No girl to suck the life out of me and waste my money on. Playing the field and living a stress free life full of golf, travel, relaxing, and basically 4 day work weeks.
Commissioner’s Note: I need to find a new job and a new life apparently.
