WEEK 6 - PART 2
Tell Sloan I Said What Up defeats MaKamaraca Great Again:
Dylan and Eddie Murphy were Coming to Kamaraca this week for a matchup of 3-2 teams with big implications for the standings.
Austin Massachusetts Hooper had a team high 24 points on 110 yards and a TD, but it wasn’t enough to Make Kamaraca Great Again. Yo Adrian Peterson’s 22 points on the bench really killed democracy and capitalism, as Kev started Air Jordan Howard and DJ “A Fuckin Chark Ate Me” over AP. The R-words are terrible, but a matchup with the Dolphins was too good to pass up. Make Start-or-Sit decisions great again.
FUMBLLLLEEEE
Sethon Green Diggs Told Sloan He Said Whatup not one, not two, but three times against the Eagles in Week 6. His 42 points were a season high and more than he put up in Weeks 1-5 combined. Let’s hope E doesn’t punch him in the face next week when he scores 5 points and lets his owners down.
Speaking of letting owners down, not one, not two, not three, but four of Dylan’s starters scored 2 points or fewer. And he still won…..“Only in Kamaraca” as they say.
Tell Sloan I Said What Up 120, MaKamaraca Great Again 99.
BOOM BOOM BOOM WHOOOPPPP
The Permian Panthers Defeat Butt Kicker Dot Com:
Our final matchup features Butt Kicker Dot Com travelling to Odessa Texas to face the Permian Panthers at Ratliff Stadium.
Russel Wilson kicked butts this week with 34 points on 330 yards and 3 total TDs. Russel’s been WilSONNIN defenses all year and he ranks as QB1 through 6 games. Julio was Jonesin for the football against the Patrick-Peterson-less Cardinals, tallying 17 points on 8 catches for 100 yards. His fellow dirty bird Devonta Freeman was doing his best Jamaal Anderson impression, dancing past the Cardinals defense for 120 yards and 2 TDs.
BOOM BOOM BOOM WHHOOOPPP
Lamar “Pretty Good for a Running Back” Jackson did his best Boobie Miles impersonation, willing the Odessa-Permian Panthers to a win behind his 39 fantasy points. “He can spin left, he can spin right, don’t make no difference. He can block, tackle, score the touchdown, snap the ball and kick the extra point. Hell, the boy will fill up the Gatorade cooler, walk the dog and paint ya back porch. I’ll tell ya – that boy can flat out play football…..ANDDDD HE CAN PASSS!!”
The New England Patriots threw a Boston Tea Party for Daniel Jones on Thursday night football and put up 25 points for the Commish. Their A+B+Up+Down+R1 cheat code ways continue and they rank as the #1 defense in fantasy. The Panthers coughed up some hairballs this week, but were able to get the win.
Panthers 148, Butt Kickers 135
BOOM BOOM BOOM WHOOOPPPP
